


By Fade Or By Shade

by capitainpistol



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Last Kiss, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capitainpistol/pseuds/capitainpistol
Summary: Dany and Jorah share a kiss before the Long Night in 8X03. Hella angst and pining.
Relationships: Jorah Mormont/Daenerys Targaryen
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	By Fade Or By Shade

Alone. 

Why was she alone? 

He had wanted her to be alone, but not like this. Not like this. 

“Jorah?”

His queen's smile lifted his heart. The wanting in her voice broke it all over again. The wanting was not for him. Never for him. 

Jorah smiled back, burying deep the hurt he carried with him always. 

The madness of men, he thought not for the first time. Having her trust, that was better than love. Better than her body. He told himself every second of every day. Every night when he woke from nightmares of pure happiness in her embrace.

“It is almost time, Khaleesi. I wanted to see you before... _before_... in case...” Jorah bowed to her, unable to say what he came to say. The ravings of a mad old fool who did not know his place. I love you, I love you, I love you. I'm a mad old fool for loving you so, I know. I want to kiss you. Take you from this place. I want you safe, at home, with me. I want you. I want you to be happy. I'm sorry I could not make you happy. “Fare=”

“-don't you dare say it, Jorah.” His queen beckoned him to the hearth where she stood in front of the fire. The flames dancing on her sad eyes. She was pretending to be happy and ready, but she was as afraid as he was. And something else, too. The wanting haunting her loneliness. _Him._ The boy. The warrior boy she loved. Jorah could kill him for leaving her alone like this, but that would make her sadder.

Jorah did not wish that. He only wished to see her one last time. 

“If I do not--”

His queen stopped him with a sharp look, a dark smile. Daring him to finish. Obedience overcame desire and he quieted. Hoping and hopeless, wondering if in that gaze was a glimmer of need of him beyond service. Sometimes he thought she... Jorah stopped. It was never sometimes. She was his queen. He was her knight. He was hers. She was never his.

Jorah reached for her hand tentatively. Caressed her palm with his fingers in smooth strokes. The last joy of his life, he thought suddenly, incredibly sad, knowing he was going to die. And he felt shame he had buried long ago, for wanting her body and soul. He stared long at her nails, her knuckles, her wrists. Felt the heat of her skin and the hammer of her heart pulsating under his fingers. Pretending it was the space between her breasts where he wanted to lay his head and rest. Gods, he loved her, but he could not tell her. 

He kissed the back of her hand gently and went to one knee. “It has been my greatest honor to serve you. To fight for you.” He left the rest unsaid, but she read it on his face. I will die and it will end. This terrible happiness of being yours. Jorah lifted his face to look up at her. “My brave, sweet queen.”

She cupped his face and stroked his cheek, her hand trembling lighly. 

“My gentle old bear,” she said softly, close to a whisper. Her chest rose and fell longer and higher as the seconds passed and she considered for the first time since she met him that he might die. That her fierce unstoppable bear might die. “What would you have of me before... _before_...”

Jorah's cock went hard as a rock when she passed her thumb over his lips. 

Daenerys drew him up until he towered over her and they came together. Jorah was sure this was some madness in him, imagining it, but Daenerys caressed his neck. The same hand he'd kissed. The same hand that just claimed his lips. 

It was a long kiss. A strange kiss. Tender and awkward, riddled with expectation and resignation. Pauses and sighs, smaller kisses in between. Never again, he thought, holding her, squeezing her, crushing her as he lifted her off the floor as if to split her in half and take a part of her with him. That small part of her that could have loved him, that sometimes loved him the way he loved her. 

All she wanted was to breathe yes into his mouth. Yes sang in her bones. Yes, his tongue. His arms. Huge bulks of muscle that kept her safe. He had stroked her back when he first kissed her, and he did it again, making her shiver, making her wet. 

They came apart to breathe, to stop. She was not alone, she smiled. She had never been alone. Her bear. Her sweet, gentle bear. Jorah could not return her smile, not in truth. He pretended well, but then he pulled her again to kiss her forehead then he wrenched away like she was fire to be free of her, leaving her.


End file.
